Speaking truth.
Self-love and compassion.
Treat yourself like someone you love.
In the words of the Beatles song, all we need is love. To find love, we must first find it in ourselves.
We may be familiar with how we show love and affection to others. But how do we do that for ourselves?
How many years have we spent trying to earn our own love through achievements, accomplishments, titles…if I have (this) or (that) then I am worthy.
Growth, both personal and interpersonal, is fostered by speaking truthfully and authentically. When we express our genuine thoughts, feelings, and needs, we create opportunities for understanding, connection, and positive change.
How many of us have suppressed our own needs in an effort not to disappoint others, even when no one asked us to? Do you struggle with letting the needs of others define you?
We may wrestle with this false dilemma: be loving and kind to ourselves OR be loving and kind to others. Maybe change the “or” to “and” - create a balance between both.
In truth, though, showing love and compassion to ourselves is a prerequisite to being loving and compassionate to others. Having a healthy form of self-love through honoring ourselves allows us to show up for others more genuinely and authentically…..
Loving ourselves requires courage and the ability to believe in and stay loyal to our own self-worth.
The world around us reflects how we feel about ourselves. Our beliefs about ourselves may have us trapped in illusions about lack of worth, questions about our lovability, feelings of loneliness and disconnect.
May we learn to experience love for ourselves. Feel our own tenderness, affection, respect.
Self-love is the practice of having a positive relationship with yourself and valuing your well-being. It involves taking care of your needs and not sacrificing your happiness to please others.
Experience love for yourself by practicing self-compassion with loving kindness.
What is self-compassion, why is it important, and practices to try?
Compassion, by definition, is relational as it means ‘to suffer with’. Compassion fosters connection and empathy with others, self-compassion provides the foundation for personal well-being and resilience.
As soon as we notice others are suffering, we may automatically create compassion to give to others. However, when we are struggling, do we offer ourselves the same?
Self-compassion is about responding to our suffering with kindness, understanding, caring, and concern.
Giving compassion to ourselves is a way of emotionally recharging our batteries. Rather than becoming drained by helping others, self-compassion allows us to fill up our internal reserves, so that we have more to give to those who need us.
Self-Compassion Exercises
You have the power to protect your peace
Cultivate compassion
Recognize: I’m having a hard time.
Remind: This is part of being human.
Comfort: I will choose to be kind to myself (loving gesture i.e. hand to your chest)
Acknowledge: I give myself the compassion I need.
Breathing Balance
Bring awareness to your breathing
Deepen your breaths making the exhale longer than the inhale
Focus your attention on your chest
Imagine your breath flowing in and out of your chest
Choose a positive emotion you would like to feel
Imagine breathing that emotion through your chest
Benefits of self-love and compassion
The relationship between our thoughts and bodies is complex and interconnected.
The way we think directly impacts the way we feel physically and emotionally.
Treating ourselves with kindness and understanding especially in times of difficulty has many positive impacts.
Self-compassion exercises improve emotional regulation, decision making, perspective taking, confidence, positive outlooks, and helps us get better with stress.
These techniques can be used in our days to be proactive in our wellbeing and help us regulate our responses to stressors in life.
Also, they can be utilized whenever a stressful event occurs and when you want to re-balance, get an energy boost and gain more mental clarity.
Stress affects the body physically, mentally and emotionally. It is not the event or situation that creates the stress, it is how we respond to it. Emotions have a powerful impact on the human body. Positive emotions like appreciation, care and kindness feel good and are good for us. They help the systems in our body synchronize and work better.
Research has shown that when we intentionally shift our mindset to focus on positive emotions like love, kindness, and compassion, a favorable cascade of neural, hormonal and biochemical events occur that benefit our entire body.
In order to love ourselves, we need to acknowledge what makes us who we are; our strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities, positive and negative experiences that have shaped us.
In the words of Kristin Neff,
Happiness is not dependent on circumstances being exactly as we want them to be, or on ourselves being exactly as we’d like to be. Rather, happiness stems from loving ourselves and our lives exactly as they are, knowing that joy and pain, strength and weakness, glory and failure are all essential to the full human experience.
Learn to love yourself and everything around you will transform.
You deserve your love and affection.
You are worthy and a priority.
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